Are you embarrassed to tell strangers what you do for a living (i.e., direct mail)? Don’t be—your profession is honorable compared with some we could name.

Take the hustle now being pursued by Phil Viallrreal, the author of “Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel: 100 Dirty little Money Grubbing Secrets.” Like a self-help guru run amok, Phil urges consumers to “mine your junk mail for free money” (to name only one bright idea of his) and offers practical tips on how to do it.

“Old-fashioned snail mail is far more lucrative than e-mail spam,” he explains. “My favorite mail offers come from banks offering $100 or more if you open a checking account. These usually come with stipulations that you opt for direct deposit (I tell HR to send $1 a paycheck into such dummy accounts), keep the account open for six months or use your debit card for a certain amount of required purchases. In the end it’s free money with minimal hassle.”

Is he serious? It would take many hours to accomplish all that, and the time would be worth far more than a hundred bucks.

For starters, no HR department will allow you to split direct deposits into two accounts. Then there’s the effort it takes to open a bank account. (Bring your passport). Why would you want this aggravation?

It’s the same with his admonition to “never renew a subscription to anything.” Phil advises readers to demand the rates given to new subscribers. But that’s a hassle, too.

Who’s got the time for these stunts? Nudniks who sit around entrapping telemarketers into violating the Do-Not-Call Rule.

We’ve got a suggestion of our own. Want to read Phil’s book? Wait until it’s remaindered. Then you can get it for $4.98.